I have a proposal.

Decisive steps have never been my specialty. Over the years I have taken many many steps, but very few could really be called decisive. The surface of my life has come to resemble a drunken dance studio: a million well-heeled Fred Astaire footprints foxtrot and stagger in wildly contradictory directions, trampling and smearing each other, smudged out by their own missteps. The path I've stumbled back and forth across this pock-marked landscape is utterly untraceable, even for me. So when I proudly announce that I have taken certain very decisive steps regarding Kat Froese, it probably says more about her qualities than mine. Not just any old destination could keep me walking in a straight line as long as she has.

The most recent of my decisive steps was last Saturday, when I asked Kat a question: "Yes or no?" There's a story about Kat's great uncle's father (I think) walking into his future wife's workplace and asking her to marry him with these three direct and simple words. This story really impressed both of us when we heard it. But I must admit that my original plan had none of the minimalist elegance of Kat's great uncle's father's. I had spent a week organizing a city-wide treasure hunt for her, involving a bunch of her friends. But the weather didn't cooperate, so I ended up going minimalist after all. I picked her up from the airport and surprised her with flowers and a candle-lit lunch. I gave her the two options. She chose "Yes".

It had been in the works for a while, of course. I had been talking marriage since a few months after meeting her, and had been actively ringshopping since June. I finally chose an antique 1920s ring from Brilliant Earth, an ethical jeweler based out of San Francisco (who I am happy to endorse here both for their principled approach and for their excellent service), but I had to send it back for resizing while we took a trip out west. This delay only made me more confident in the step I was taking. Seeing how well Kat related to my weird and wonderful family, and then joining her in her volunteer work in White Dog, a native reserve near Kenora, made me more and more aware of what an incredible woman she is. For once in my life I have no doubts whatsoever. I eagerly look toward the day when we will make this decision absolute, and eternally binding.

In closing, I could hardly do better than to quote one of the foremost poets of the 21st century:

"If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

I do. And I have.

Proactively yours,
Jesse.