Most people who have had a wedding or are in the midst of planning one, will tell you that planning a wedding can be overwhelming. It's hard not to let all of the details become stressful. There are the big ones, like the budget, guest list, venue, and food, and the little ones, like decorations, flower arrangements and what type of wine to serve. All of this has been good for Jesse and I to get to know each other better and how we work together. Making our budget produced one of our most tense moments, but all this to say, it's teaching us what works, what doesn't, and what we can do better.
Relationship learning aside, the list of "to-do's" and "get-er-done's" seems to keep growing. We've had a few successes and I've also had a few tears. Keeping the budget down has been on the harder side of things. We pride ourselves in living off very little, so the idea of spending the price of a used vehicle on one day has taken some mental adjustment. It's amazing how quickly prices add up and we've had to bite our frugal tongues and open up our wallets a little wider.
The guest list is another toughy. One of the most important parts of this day is the communal celebration. How can I not invite all of my friends? And then there's the other side: What about family members I don't actually know? Or people who invited me to their wedding years and years ago but we're no longer in touch (besides Facebook!)? I am learning that no matter what, I can not make everybody happy. Some people will have to be left off of the list, and some of those people will be hurt and/or offended. When talking with friends who are married, it seems what they regret about their weddings is inviting people to appease them. They wish their weddings had been smaller. "In the end, true friends will understand," said my neighbour. I hope she's right.
Along the same lines of the guest list was the reception venue, since this would enable how many people we could invite. We have a certain aesthetic we like: not too fancy, but not too tacky, either, unless tacky means kitsch. Let me explain. We are not fancy people. So that immediately cancels out any country clubs or banquet halls (BIG sigh of relief, not just for our taste but for our wallets!). On the other hand, most of the smaller more rustic or mid-century-esque venues were too small. Or they required you to use their Coor's Light serving bars with business-meeting-luncheon style catering. No thank you. Fortunately, it looks like things are working out with our hoped for venue: the basement at Jesse's church. It's old, somewhat musty, but full of character and lets us feel at home.
lets us feel at home...
That's really what it comes down to with all the wedding hooplah: home. We want and need our wedding to feel like home, to feel comfortable, welcoming, and most importantly, to feel like us. So, we may have to skip some traditions like hoards of bridesmaids, boutonnieres, corsages and fancy ballroom bridal gowns, not to mention a spring or summer wedding(!), but what we hope to get is the feeling of home. We hope all the stress of lists and budgets and planning is worth it. After all, we do only get to do this once.
-K.
